Toasted Dolphin

Assad Fumbles on his own 45 yard line.

Rebel Alliance is trailing Assad's Chemical Crew by 3. The score is RA 50,000 and ACC 50,003.

Saudi Coach for the Rebels Calls Timeout with 45 seconds on the board.

The Rebels line up in Coalition of the Willing Formation.

Obama fake passes and hands off to U.K. for 0 gain.

The clock continues to run, Obama plays hurry up offense.

They line up in Emancipation Proclamation formation. Obama completes a quick throw to Kerry on the 39 yard line near the sidelines and steps out of bounds to stop the clock.

Coach Putin throws the red flag for a play review. The world waits...

The first announcer starts to speculate: "Will Obama go for the 3 to tie the game and go into overtime or the 7 point TD to win the game..."

Second announcer: "Kerry with an impressive catch. Straight out of Skull and Bone University he is emerging as a valuable weapon for this Rebel team..."

Receivers' coach Polosi and kicker coach McCain are huddled up with team. There seems to be a debate over the kick or pass option. We're aware of the belief Polosi has in her QB Barry 'Cruise' Missile.

'Cruise' seems to have grabbed a hotdog and is watching the big screen. Is that a Mickleson golf commercial playing? Yep.

Hahaha, so true.

I edited it to better match the roles. Coach Obama seems right but he is making passes to the team, so I made him QB. I feel that Saudi Arabia is the one coaching.

Hey, Cruise, get your headgear on. You're gonna lob a couple of missiles. Were gonna win this one Aramco.

Hey, can't forget the sponsors!

Aw, that was in the works...here goes next

Looks like we now have an officials timeout. They are huddled up near the rebels sideline. Let's check in with our on field reporter Cee Inen.

Cee Inen, what's going on ?

The officials are talking about some illegal substitutions by the rebels. It seems the 53 man roster is being supplemented by players from the rebel seats behind their bench.

Whats that commotion in the stands?

Looks like the rebel fans are pulling down the Earl Grey tea sign, one of the sponsors. The T-Shirt gun is really sending people ducking for cover.

Doesn't seem to bother the rebel crowd. Nope. They are also using it send hotdogs up to the nose bleed section.

Cee Inen, where is Kerry?

Kerry left the game. He has that rule of 4. 4 months of military service, 4 minutes of play time in the game. He was at 3:57 playing time so he called it a game. The official word is he bumped into the Gatorade cooler and was taken in for an MRI.

In the nose bleed section, any sign of Iraqi football star Saran G. Symtoms?

No official sighting. The fan were spraying FreBreze which caught the attention of the Dept of Security people. Think it just got on the freedom fries they were eating. Banged a few heads and left. Some of the fans are not believing the Febreze story though.