I have decided to kill myself. I can see no other way out. My name is Elizabeth Terry, Princess Elizabeth Terry to the common folk. I am 19 years old and I am to be wed to a foreigner tomorrow. A man I have never met to advance the political agendas of my father. And I have never even been outside these castle walls.
My life started out all decadent and grand. In fact it is not so bad now except for my imprisonment. I am stuck in this damn castle because of the gyre. I never questioned why my mother wore the gyre and I had no idea what it was for. It is something we just don't speak of. When I was given my own gyre for my tenth birthday I thought it was an honor. I was naive.
It was no honor , it was a death sentence. One both of my parents condemned me too. I hate them both for it. I do not know how it works but I do know if I pass the Castle court yard gates it causes me pain. The further I go outside the worse the pain becomes. I learned this trying to run away when I was 16. By then I had a clue of my place in life and I wanted no part of it. I thought I was so clever setting a fire in the court yard. Everyone ran to put it out and as the gates were unguarded I made my dash. Just a few meters out and the pain overwhelmed me and all I could see was white and blur. I ran right back inside and the pain vanished.
The overwhelming horror of it sickened me and I cried. I realized I was never gonna see the world outside of these walls. Nobody questioned me, they must of thought I mourned the crispy cherry trees. I withdrew. I stayed in my room for weeks at a time refusing to see everyone in this gilded cage. I wanted to die then but I could not bring myself to do it. I still can't willingly harm myself. The pain is unbearable and I want it to end and I just can't do it!
So I have decided to kill my father. After that the guards will dispatch me and I will finally be free.
I thought long and hard about killing my parents. I have always had an opportunity to kill my mother for she is not well guarded but my father keeps a longer distance from me and he always has his personal guard near so that even if I made the attempt I would be stopped. My mother has no such protections but I doubt the guard would kill me for her death. IT MUST BE THE KING.
As tradition mandates my father will have to give me away and in doing so he will have to walk me down the aisle. It will be the first time in months I have been close to him. He will never make it to the foot of the priest. As he takes my hand I will open his belly with my knife in front of God and a thousand witnesses. My wretched keeper dead with me to follow him to hell to torture him for all eternity for the life time of imprisonment he has inflicted up me. My one regret will be not taking my mother with us. I just wont have the opportunity. If I could kill them both I would but I must make my choice and I want to be sure of my outcome once I finish my deed.
I hate you all,
Princess Terry
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The Queen put her daughters note back under the false bottom of the nightstand. Next to the knife. She crept silently out of her daughters room and admired her for having the courage to do what she herself could not. Although she would remain a prisoner of the castle at least her daughter would be free.