Nixon's Mafia sweetheart!

[IndicusMaximus]

Thank you for the acknowledgements.

Of course there will always be communal instincts. They allow us as a species to survive the onslaught of nature.

However, we don't always obey the laws of nature. We sometimes can't always obey them.

Our individual nature is almost always at odds with our communal nature.

We as individuals seek to rip the community apart in order to make it in our own image.

We don't like the community. We just tolerate it because we need to use the pieces of it which we break in order to further our vision.

This is how new species develop from formerly successful species.

It is the individual experience of being at odds with the situation they find themselves in which creates new forms. Every single individual experience contributes to that, and the more alienated and miserable the experience, the greater impact it has on the collective. Of course, nobody would ever recognize something which looks so miserable. Nobody would ever look to those who seem confused and in pain for advice on how to live in harmony with humanity.

The problem with turning your eye away from the seemingly negative, confrontational, and corrosive .... is that you renounce that which saves you.
What will save the human race is its eventual dessolution and rebirth as other forms.

Listen to Black Metal. I personally don't, but I understand where the "Left handed" philosophy comes from.

The ruse is that spiritual or philosophical outlooks usually try to spin on you is that the "left hand" is bad and the "Right hand" is good.

The right hand is no better than the left hand. The positive no more righteous than the negative. The goal of the "supreme" spiritual path is a middle path... a path of least resistance.

This path of least resistance accepts both the positive and the negative aspects of its being, and integrates them.

Nirvana, the band.... in my opinion, musically that is the perfect metaphor for what I'm talking about. It is a positive message with a dark melody, or vice versa, a dark message with an upbeat melody. Sonetimes, dark messages and dark melodies happen at the same time, sometimes vice versa. These are all aspects of the whole of being, and certain people have a greater tendency toward one than the other. One hand seeks preservation and concretization, the other seeks separation and re-invention.

Naturally, we fall more into one hand more than the other.... and spiritually, we come from places both closely knit with our world, and more farther removed.... so our natures will individually be either more pro-community, or more pro-individual, depending on our essential proximity to this level of existence.

If this is your home and you feel great here and you love everything about it, that's fine, but it's not the absolute rule that everyone must follow or else be punished in various forms.

Success and failure should not be measurements because that spectrum does not encapsulate the variety of being which inhabits the individual bodies of this one species.

[Royal]

For you. The Indicus Haterus.

[IndicusMaximus]

I don't quite think I said I hated anyone.

I think what I said was that I am an individually oriented being, not a community oriented being. If you looked at it mechanically, I would be considered perhaps as a fungus, perhaps a fungus which doesn't always look pretty.... but which serves a purpose which isn't readily identifiable to those who don't like fungus in their sterilized uniformely designed box houses where everything is neat and clean and agreeable with the neighbors.

Bill Hicks was a smart guy, but I think he was a bit too hopeful towards humanity.

In that same Daniel Pinchbeck documentary, and also in some of Joseph Campbell's works, they talked about the time scales at which humanity has come about in its various stages. The first form of man was around for a couple million years. The second form of man was around for a couple hundred thousand years. Neanderthals were around for about 100 thousand years before cro-mag man replaced them. Cro-mags were around for a handful of tens of thousands of years before modern man arose. Civilization as it is recognized by us has been around for little more than 10,000 years. Every age has evolved and been replaced by a new age exponentially faster than the age before it. Now, we've almost reached a point of singularity within the evolution of our species where the only way to go now is to branch into two or three new and inherently SEPARATE groups of beings.

H.G Wells predicted that this would happen in The Time Machine.

Why would this happen just as we're on the precipice of practically realizing a one world utopian society where everything is ideal and everyone is in sync?

Because THAT is despotism! Creation does not end nor begin with the human race, and if the human race tries to stop creation or own creation, which it is very clearly trying to be done, it will be destroyed.

Creation isn't always beautiful. I do not hate, but I do disagree, and do not believe your enlightenment, their enlightenment, anyone else's enlightenment, is my enlightenment, and I do not wish to accept the Wall which no matter how intricately painted is still a WALL, and it is not my wall. It is YOUR wall, and when I finally smash it..... the human race may experience some competition, so they'll wipe that smug look of their faces with the dollar bills they've filled their gaping anuses with.

Humanity doesn't need a hug. It needs a kick in the ass so hard it falls flat on its face and wonders where all the pretty music and the hypnotic lights went, along with your teeth and your facial features.

That's what we fear. That's what the mad men of the world protect us from. That's what helps accountants eat and sleep and shave and dress nicely and climb the social ladder. It's what made the social ladder. For you to climb, like a monkey trapped in a cage, in love with the object of it's own masturbation. You climb to the top of the cage and realize that all there is is more bars. You can even bring all your monkey co-prisoners to the top with you and they'll just be pissed you brought them all there to see bars and quite probably all fall down quite a long way.

The funny thing I think is our perception of what freedom and enlightenment should look like. I think it's all wrong. I almost want to come back my next life as severely autistic or severely mentally disabled, so I'm just in a constant state of bliss because the world is a joke.... because I know that I am of another dimension and all I have to do is giggle and drool and wiggle with delight through the absolutely ridiculous world of these absolutely ridiculous creatures.

I think my curse is that I am too intelligent, even if when I don't want to be. I really don't want to know anything more about how great and wonderfully "diverse" humanity is. I just don't. I understand humanity. I understand that humans are OKAY sometimes. Maybe I've just been with humanity so long that it's like I've seen it all before, and nobody's going to convince me that they've got another bright idea that will truly change the fundamental reality that is "the human".

I just see no point in glorifying this and calling it anything other than "okay sometimes". I'm not some two year old who's impressed with flashing lights and pretty shapes anymore. I don't even care for that sort of thing. I'm tired of it.

I mourn the loss of the human race before it has perished, but I realize its time is soon over, and that's not really easy to deal with ever. Your sick relative who you just spend time kneeling over, watching them fade, and wishing it would just happen already so you could move on....

I don't want you or anyone even remotely like you to go anywhere near outer space. For the good of yourself, and for the good of the Universe.

"Goal oriented" is a mode of psychosis which needs to be banished from the collective psyche permanently. It ruins every happy accident before it has even begun.

[Pana]

The funny thing I think is our perception of what freedom and enlightenment should look like. I think it's all wrong. I almost want to come back my next life as severely autistic or severely mentally disabled, so I'm just in a constant state of bliss because the world is a joke.... because I know that I am of another dimension and all I have to do is giggle and drool and wiggle with delight through the absolutely ridiculous world of these absolutely ridiculous creatures.

I'm curious...what is stopping you from being in this state right now? From being in delight while seeing the absolutely ridiculous world and its foibles?

[Pigeon]

Face reality, make what one can of it in a good way, and find happiness in being alive.

[TraumaT]

I almost want to come back my next life as severely autistic or severely mentally disabled

Yeah well, if you do, hopefully you won't be born in a society where it's just every man for himself, because you will need other people's help just to survive... You know, the "community oriented beings"...

And how patronizing is this: "If you looked at it mechanically, I would be considered perhaps as a fungus, perhaps a fungus which doesn't always look pretty.... but which serves a purpose which isn't readily identifiable to those who don't like fungus in their sterilized uniformely designed box houses where everything is neat and clean and agreeable with the neighbors."

News flash for you: There are plenty of "fungus" in most people. In me too. You are not that special. Life is a bitch and plenty of humans suck big time. But not everyone and everything sucks, at least not all the time.

[IndicusMaximus]

The funny thing I think is our perception of what freedom and enlightenment should look like. I think it's all wrong. I almost want to come back my next life as severely autistic or severely mentally disabled, so I'm just in a constant state of bliss because the world is a joke.... because I know that I am of another dimension and all I have to do is giggle and drool and wiggle with delight through the absolutely ridiculous world of these absolutely ridiculous creatures.

I'm curious...what is stopping you from being in this state right now? From being in delight while seeing the absolutely ridiculous world and its foibles?

Probably cynicism, and on a deeper level.... geometry.

When I was little, I had a recurring dream. I would be falling down a well of numbers, only to come upon a big red pyramid with an eye (yes like the one on the dollar bill, of which I was not familiar with at the time). At the time, it was horrifying.

In later years, I had the experience of reaching a state where all material, mental, psychic phenomenon was one, but it had no dimension. Everything was flat and projected upon some universal static medium. I realized that this was not a new discovery. It was the culmination, time and time again, of searching for enlightenment, only to find that inescapable state of flatness, meaninglessness, desolation.... probably the reason Nietsche lost his mind.

It has stayed that way, this feeling of being at one, yet that oneness being flat and, and also that feeling of added pain for no reason... and if this pain exists, then why? Why experience this pain, why experience at all if none of it is real? Is THIS delight? Why is this delightful? What about this would ever delight a person, to be in the world with their problems, yet to also be aware that nothing is real? That does not cause me delight. That causes me great pain upon the pain that's already there....

"Do not fear, you are but a mirage upon a dimensionless non-existence."

As though the experience of reality itself is cruel, and it would be better off if nothing existed at all.

To know irrevokably that this is all an illusion does not help. To know irrevokably that all is one does not bring peace. To see infinity in its entirety does not cause peace.

What do I see of the static reality? I see geometry, and it sickens me.

I see an eternal desolation. Perfectly peaceful, but disquietly so.

I see white on white. I see parading patterns of color and light which taunt me to believe that I am this, and I am that, and that is real, the this with the that in a package deal.

This is non-reality. This, I've been here too long. This is not pleasurable anymore, not delightful anymore, not fulfilling anymore, and the ridiculousness I spoke of before now becomes a chore.

The primal experience of desolation and no-self and non-being which has accompanied me for these past few years has allowed me to see the pattern as this thing which beckons you to it, but when you get there, it's not there.... like a mirage. The best way to enjoy it is at a distance.... but even the somewhat amusing state of disengagement and simple witnessing becomes monotonous after millenia of re-discovery of the same fact.

Reality in its seemingly limtless layers of time, space, dimensions, everything else..... actually has a limit. Infinity is finite. There is nowhere else to go in reality, and non-being although at perfect peace and some would say bliss is not being, and not being is an irreconcilable impossibility, because there is a consciousness witnessing it that exists.

This idea of God, or The Gods/Godesses.... does not exist anywhere IN reality.

The whole of reality and the mystical layers which it is founded upon is irreconcilable and extremely limited standing alone, painfully painfully limited, from top to bottom.... like a neverending loop which only looks limitless from up close.

That being said... there is something(s) else.
This whole thing makes me wonder if I am not trapped in a computerized program. The program wants me to stay. It needs my conscious energy. What will happen if I find the way out?

Who, what, where, when, how will I be? Because I am always, and I am always what I am.... but what am I? God? That's too easy...

What if the world, the universe, the layers of dimensions, all of them that beckon and say "Pain is love, existence is bliss" are programmed to say that and programmed to make me believe I am wrong for not ever quite harmonizing with the program, simply because I am not the program. I exist in the program only on my own free will, but once I forget that the program is a program, that's when the program (which is quite clever) can declare itself The Truth, The Light, and The Way..... but it will be a false Truth, Light, Way.... a false peace, a false God, and false computer-generated eternal bliss.... which at first feels good, but an unmentionable amount of zillions of cycles of eternity later, feels quite fake.

I denounce the ultimate reality as just another part of the program. I denounce the program. I've been stuck in here too long.

I know there's something beyond numbers, beyond geometry, beyond that God-forsaken hum.

And that is why I choose to point out the shitty side of life.... because the good side of life, and even the transcendental all-encompassing ecstatic peace of so-called higher life.... is like fucking a motherboard.

It's old. I don't at all delight in the hum anymore. The OMMMMMMMMM is just the kind of horrific static I am ultimately trying to escape from, not trying to become one with. I am already one with it and it is quite standard, quite monotonous, and I want the hum.... that transcendental LIAR, to stop!!!

Respectively.

[lkwalker]

Probably cynicism, and on a deeper level.... geometry.

Or maybe a third alternative- that you're a hateful, petulant poseur with a lot of time to kill.

[Pana]

The funny thing I think is our perception of what freedom and enlightenment should look like. I think it's all wrong. I almost want to come back my next life as severely autistic or severely mentally disabled, so I'm just in a constant state of bliss because the world is a joke.... because I know that I am of another dimension and all I have to do is giggle and drool and wiggle with delight through the absolutely ridiculous world of these absolutely ridiculous creatures.

In later years, I had the experience of reaching a state where all material, mental, psychic phenomenon was one, but it had no dimension. Everything was flat and projected upon some universal static medium. I realized that this was not a new discovery. It was the culmination, time and time again, of searching for enlightenment, only to find that inescapable state of flatness, meaninglessness, desolation.... probably the reason Nietsche lost his mind.

But it is that same meaninglessness that makes one realize that its the meaning that you superimpose on it that makes ones life - for positive or negative. You are painter before the empty canvas.

[IndicusMaximus]

That's about the extent of it.