***Important*** New Ebola Line
***Important*** New Ebola Line
Good Evening Ellen,
First, thank you for not talking to HR about the dick incident that took place in the conference room today. Things can get a little out of hand during busy season, and sometimes we like to let loose. You were great under pressure today (ignoring the breasts and seamen) and provided a great presentation.
Second, I would like to address some of the talking points you made. I do agree that our company has to calibrate our expectations. We are now in the headlights of top management and need to set goals for our employees. My current idea to set deadlines and milestones for our products:
Product 1 - Ebola Cure - Due by Wednesday 10/15 at 5PM from Tom
Product 2 - Ebola Cure Clothing Line - Designs due by Friday at 9:55PM from TIki Sue Masala, J-Rod Scott, Pho Mang, Corina Gonzalo, and Brad.
Let me know if these deadlines are reasonable.
Additionally, I agree with your argument concerning our rewards of bread and water will not motivate them anymore. Although, I do agree this is all the slave force needs, I think your idea of donuts and cake on Friday's may be the spark to keep them motivated. Our previous employee reward of promising sex with your friends was probably a bad idea. Two of them was impregnated in Vegas, and one is still missing from the Cruise Ship for 48 hours. Hope you know that search is underway for Krystal.
Third, I agree we should push the envelope with our market share. Somehow we should "breakthrough the clutter" and get hip with it. I have contacted the following music groups and movie stars to promote the new Ebola Farm product line -
One Direction
Kesha
Snoop Dogg
Lil Wayne
Lil Bowow
Brad Pitt
Jason Derulo
Lorde
Jack Johnson
Pharell Williams
Daft Punk
Avicci
John Legend
Chris Brown
Beyonce
Beyonce's Husband
And they all said "no" in a hurry and hung up on me. Any ideas to help the clothing line is appreciated.
Bryan Mitchel Neehigh, CEO
Consulting the Consultants, LLC
1007 Muchos Colores St, San Diego, Ca 91999
First, thank you for not talking to HR about the dick incident that took place in the conference room today. Things can get a little out of hand during busy season, and sometimes we like to let loose. You were great under pressure today (ignoring the breasts and seamen) and provided a great presentation.
Second, I would like to address some of the talking points you made. I do agree that our company has to calibrate our expectations. We are now in the headlights of top management and need to set goals for our employees. My current idea to set deadlines and milestones for our products:
Product 1 - Ebola Cure - Due by Wednesday 10/15 at 5PM from Tom
Product 2 - Ebola Cure Clothing Line - Designs due by Friday at 9:55PM from TIki Sue Masala, J-Rod Scott, Pho Mang, Corina Gonzalo, and Brad.
Let me know if these deadlines are reasonable.
Additionally, I agree with your argument concerning our rewards of bread and water will not motivate them anymore. Although, I do agree this is all the slave force needs, I think your idea of donuts and cake on Friday's may be the spark to keep them motivated. Our previous employee reward of promising sex with your friends was probably a bad idea. Two of them was impregnated in Vegas, and one is still missing from the Cruise Ship for 48 hours. Hope you know that search is underway for Krystal.
Third, I agree we should push the envelope with our market share. Somehow we should "breakthrough the clutter" and get hip with it. I have contacted the following music groups and movie stars to promote the new Ebola Farm product line -
One Direction
Kesha
Snoop Dogg
Lil Wayne
Lil Bowow
Brad Pitt
Jason Derulo
Lorde
Jack Johnson
Pharell Williams
Daft Punk
Avicci
John Legend
Chris Brown
Beyonce
Beyonce's Husband
And they all said "no" in a hurry and hung up on me. Any ideas to help the clothing line is appreciated.
Bryan Mitchel Neehigh, CEO
Consulting the Consultants, LLC
1007 Muchos Colores St, San Diego, Ca 91999
Re: ***Important*** New Ebola Line
Good evening Bryan Mitchel,
Regarding the whole HR situation -it is under investigation as we speak. Currently there is a clean-up crew to remove the layer on layer seamen in the conference room.
Product one - Ebola cure by 5pm tomorrow? It seems impossible, but I won't let it stop us from being on top of our game.
Product two- white blazers are in, I'll try and incorporate haz suit material and try to ride this whole CDC fashion craze.
I agree with the original reward program. I was brainstorming with brad and j-rod and we've come to an agreement. Since fall weather is upon us, the women in the department are going to need someone to have sexual relations with as we approach the Holidays. Preferably a man of a 198-200 weight capacity and 6ft stature. Leaving us no other choice, but yourself. I know you will be a team player and pull through and out and through again.
An update on the pregnancies: Tania and Michelle are due any day now. Still no word of Krystal (slut always fucking shit up).
The idea of "pushing the envelope" to help with the clothing line, what do you feel about a sex tape? It's all the rage nowadays... I'll contact my peeps and see what we can do. I'll be in the office early tomorrow- Skype conference ASAP.
Best regards,
Ellen Fabular
Regarding the whole HR situation -it is under investigation as we speak. Currently there is a clean-up crew to remove the layer on layer seamen in the conference room.
Product one - Ebola cure by 5pm tomorrow? It seems impossible, but I won't let it stop us from being on top of our game.
Product two- white blazers are in, I'll try and incorporate haz suit material and try to ride this whole CDC fashion craze.
I agree with the original reward program. I was brainstorming with brad and j-rod and we've come to an agreement. Since fall weather is upon us, the women in the department are going to need someone to have sexual relations with as we approach the Holidays. Preferably a man of a 198-200 weight capacity and 6ft stature. Leaving us no other choice, but yourself. I know you will be a team player and pull through and out and through again.
An update on the pregnancies: Tania and Michelle are due any day now. Still no word of Krystal (slut always fucking shit up).
The idea of "pushing the envelope" to help with the clothing line, what do you feel about a sex tape? It's all the rage nowadays... I'll contact my peeps and see what we can do. I'll be in the office early tomorrow- Skype conference ASAP.
Best regards,
Ellen Fabular
Re: ***Important*** New Ebola Line
Either I am already getting Email spam for this project OR TIki Sue Masala and Brad are moonlighting. Might want to bring them in for a coffee.
Re: ***Important*** New Ebola Line
Sales guy makes $5, the handlers make $35.
$34 when you take out the cost of whatever they sold.
oops, got that wrong.
Sales guy makes $4, the handlers make $35.
I doubt I would have spent 10 or 15 minutes listening to corny lines
$34 when you take out the cost of whatever they sold.
oops, got that wrong.
Sales guy makes $4, the handlers make $35.
I doubt I would have spent 10 or 15 minutes listening to corny lines
Re: ***Important*** New Ebola Line
A tribute to the most often used word in the video...
Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
Re: ***Important*** New Ebola Line
Selling Ebola by the pound - now available at Pigeon Formulary
Re: ***Important*** New Ebola Line
"What do you mean the President can't board Air Force One"
"He's on the Ebola no fly list"
"How did he get on that list?"
"Some one must have added him"
"Who would do that, Rush?"
"Some guy in ISIS did it"
"What"
"Hacker"
"ISIS has hackers now?"
"Sure, they got technology. Remember those fancy videos?"
I was a hacker for ISIS by BaGdAdI 1337
Re: ***Important*** New Ebola Line
Pigeon wrote:Sales guy makes $5, the handlers make $35.
$34 when you take out the cost of whatever they sold.
oops, got that wrong.
Sales guy makes $4, the handlers make $35.
I doubt I would have spent 10 or 15 minutes listening to corny lines
Don't you mean:
Sales guy makes $6 less 1, the handlers make $36 less 1.
etc..
Re: ***Important*** New Ebola Line
That sure looks like a less 1 enterprise.
Mix up that bottle of cleaner and find out.
Mix up that bottle of cleaner and find out.