The art of negotiation

[lkwalker]

So I'm in the market for a rug. There was only one thing for me to do- go see Izzat the rug guy in his tacky little shop around the corner.

I walk in. There he is, dozing in a stuffed chair behind a wooden desk, a glass teacup half full surrounded by his sleeping fingers.

"Hello Izzy. Am I disturbing you?" says I.

His liquid eyes slowly open and the black muskrat lounging under his potato of a nose tips up on the ends in a lazy smile that speaks of welcome and challenge at the same time. The old Persian was awake and ready for battle.

"Chaim salaam... What's new?" He says and looks me in the eyes as he tips his thumb over a small framed message on the desk. It reads: WE ALREADY HAVE THE BEST BUYS. NO SHNORRERS ALLOWED.'

"Allah sent me to make sure you weren't dead," I say. "And besides, I need a rug for my daughter who just had a baby girl."

"Allahu Akbar," he says. "The Isfahan you were too cheep to buy the last time? I still have it."

"Is it still too much for a poor man with a growing family?" And I see it still on the top of the pile behind his desk. A little tag stapled to the fringe says: 'VERY NICE ISFAHAN. 3 METERS SQUARE. $1000." He drags it from the pile and lays it at my feet.

"If only my poor daughter should have that for her house!," I say as I run my hand across it in a flight of the most pathetic whimsy I could conjure. "Only a man as cruel as Khomeini could deny her that."

I reach in my pocket and pull out wad of cash and begin to count, "One hundred, two hundred, three hundred, four hundred and twenty, forty." Downcast I say, "400 for you to make my little girl happy and 40 for my light bill before they turn me off."

"So you want to kill me? I have a son in university and big fat wife to feed. For 500 I might consider just for your girl but it's theft," says Izzy. The black muskrat turns down as the bushes above his eyes turn up. Izzy's face is made of rubber.

"Listen, thief," I say "let them turn off my lights and make me suffer." I hold out the 440 dollars. "It' a deal."

He takes the cash and with a huge smile and a hug and a kiss on the cheek he says, "Ganif," and folds the rug in half and then in half again. "Haimie, you will burn in hell. May your girl enjoy. Both."

[Egg]

Thus, the reason Columbus looked for a new route to India.

[Egg]

Excellent, by the way, Heimie.

[Kat]

[Pam]

Way to go BE, a good haggler you are

I never try to haggle, I probably could have saved a fortune over my lifetime, I'm always afraid I will offend

[TraumaT]

Way to go BE, a good haggler you are

I never try to haggle, I probably could have saved a fortune over my lifetime, I'm always afraid I will offend

That is because you are so very nice.

[Egg]

Way to go BE, a good haggler you are

I never try to haggle, I probably could have saved a fortune over my lifetime, I'm always afraid I will offend

That is because you are so very nice.

Or because she's Canadian and not a Jew or Arab or Greek or Italian, etc.

[TraumaT]

Way to go BE, a good haggler you are

I never try to haggle, I probably could have saved a fortune over my lifetime, I'm always afraid I will offend

That is because you are so very nice.

Or because she's Canadian and not a Jew or Arab or Greek or Italian, etc.

Nah, I'm still sticking to the "nice" theory.

[Egg]

Well, I don't think it's a theory, I think she is nice. So whatever...

[TraumaT]

Well, I don't think it's a theory, I think she is nice. So whatever...

OK. Whatever. Case closed then, eh?