Post
by IndicusMaximus » Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:23 pm
I remember the first time I did mushrooms. I was at my drummer/friend's house, and his mom had gone somewhere for the night. We bought these crazy looking shrooms from our friend who lived in the super rich asshole town a few towns away (you know, the place you go to find the people who have the best drugs). We just bought an 1/8th and split it. I just gulfed them down, but my friend was a pussy and had to eat them on a muffin. Mistake number 1: do not do mushrooms with food in your stomach (he threw up later).
Well we went wandering around his neighborhood for like two hours. He had started to trip like an hour or less after he ate them, but I was not feeling ANYTHING for almost the whole time.... until Pete decided to start running for some fucking strange reason, the orangutan bastard. I was like "shit I cannot let this tripping bastard fuck some dude's house up" because he kept trying to run up to people's doors and I kept having to call him back, but this time he just took off.... so I started to run after him, and then I realized we were on his porch. That's when I realized that everything was changing color and I was laughing hysterically. Right then.... Pete's mom pulls in the driveway.
She gets out and starts talking to us, but after every response we giggle like psychos, so she KNOWS something is up, and she's like "Andrew, what's going on?"
I just covered my face laughing and pointed at Pete. Her face was melting and I couldn't watch.
Pete was like "Fine! We smoked some weed, mom!"
So then she dragged us into the house and started yelling at us for like a half hour, and Pete was crying like a baby... but I think in the most lucid moment I've ever had on any drug, I stood up and confronted his mom in the coolest manner I've ever been in, and I said "Listen, we're okay. Pete's just really upset. He and his girlfriend are having troubles. You don't have to worry about us. You just go to bed and I'll talk to him and everything will be okay in the morning." She was like "Awww you're wonderful, my other son. Okay boys, I'll see you in the morning." All the while, her face is melting completely away into a reptilian form, and the walls and floors are turning into Aztec temple designs.
Pete was like "What the.... how'd you do that!?!?! She just stopped!"
I dunno. I can do magic things on magic drugs.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they will see God.
Under the shadow of thy wings, Jehovah.